Echo

When people’s eyes shift to the left, searching, they are making shit up. I know before they open their mouths that whatever they say next won’t matter because the intention for truthful communication’s not there.

I remember last year B and I were talking about 7 Deadly Sins and I offhandedly asked him what my greatest sin was.

“Dating Mike,” he flippantly threw back.

Just saw Mike got married last year. Let’s just say, he definitely has a type. It did make me wonder if he chases the same thing clinging to what came before, or if deep down he knew what he wanted and it was a matter of finding it.

I have to assume he’s grown up and treats her better. He definitely isn’t a shining piece of my history.

Had an interesting meeting today.

First, the guy whose left eye twitches when he’s hiding something. I was half-hoping half-afraid his eye would start twitching. Somewhat relieved he seemed more calm and in control today, but knew I would giggle if he did it. There was a brief moment where his eyelids got out of sync but he recovered.

The engineer rubs his legs to pacify himself when he’s stressed or not sure.

I think the difference between the two men is that one will try to cover up what he doesn’t know, while the other is trying to figure it out.

Regardless, both were watching the whole time. And the whole time, I was watching them.

It is the ArQ. Who will be saved.

I saw a falling star today. Or something massive and bright that fell straight down from the sky, burning out before it hit the water. It was the ends of dusk so it stood out, the world in silhuoette. There was a breathless moment where I wondered if it was a crashing plane. What was it?

The way data should work, I should be able to query that experience and get connected other people’s experience (perspective) of the event.

The dimensions of perception we are reaching is where all perception exists in one space (or on the y axis, exists in one moment), and where all perception exists everywhere separately at once.

The space between those is the balance.

We must instantly be able to capture a living breathing moment, and we most show all that brought us to this moment, the infinite sections and cross-sections of influence and relativity with which to predict the future progression if not actually control it. We could program life.

From now on, I shall be referred to as MochaBieber.

Prototype.

PHAT Data Rap

By the ArQitect of Human Perception

Beats to come by JChuLive

Lyrics:

PHAT Data gets all up in you
Your data speaks Alabama Hindu
PHAT Data straight tells it like it is
Your data sits down to take a wiz

PHAT Data’s a sumo wrestler
Your data’s goin down like Hester
PHAT Data sits on a Peta Scale
Your data is set for massive FAIL

PHAT Data is a ninja on steroids
Your data misses work because of hemorrhoids
PHAT Data, the first one on the scene
Your data’s just a groupie in the wings

PHAT Data is gonna build Skynet
Your data can’t even count to 5 yet
PHAT Data runs through the PHATTEST pipes
Your data is broke like Wesley Snipes

It’s time we’re gonna let the world know
PHAT Data will show you how the world flows
AMAX the Chosen of the bizness
x86 we got solutions like the Whiz Kids

It’s time we’re gonna let the world know
PHAT Data will show you how the world flows
AMAX the Chosen of the bizness
x86 we got solutions for the WIKD

PHAT Data’s all Apache Hadoop
Your data’s still sittin’ on a stoop
Amax has got a billion troops
Your crew four chickens in a coop

It’s time we’re gonna let the world know
PHAT Data will show you how the world flows
AMAX the Chosen of the bizness
x86 we got solutions like the Whiz Kids

It’s time we’re gonna let the world know
PHAT Data will show you how the world flows
AMAX the Chosen of the bizness
x86 we got solutions for the WIKD

Haiku Contest Press Release hits MSNBC. Check out the quote!

The contest has also hit the bloggers…

Internal Email from the Director:

Subject: Next Project

Dear Co-Lieutenants of Mayhem,
Please review this video in preparation for our next project.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10i17NNujDE&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Here’s the Beat:

PHAT Data gets all up in you
Your data speaks Alabama Hindu
PHAT Data straight tells it like it is
Your data sits down to take a wiz

PHAT Data’s a sumo wrestler
Your data’s goin down like Hester
PHAT Data sits on a Peta Scale
Your data is set for massive FAIL

PHAT Data is a ninja on steroids
Your data misses work because of hemorrhoids
PHAT Data, the first one on the scene
Your data’s just a groupie in the wings

PHAT Data is gonna build Skynet
Your data can’t even count to 5 yet
PHAT Data runs through the PHATTEST pipes
Your data is broke like Wesley Snipes

It’s time we’re gonna let the world know
PHAT Data will show you how the world flows
AMAX the Chosen of the bizness
x86 we got solutions like the Whiz Kids

It’s time we’re gonna let the world know
PHAT Data will show you how the world flows
AMAX the Chosen of the bizness
x86 we got solutions for the WIKD

PHAT Data’s all Apache Hadoop
Your data’s still sittin’ on a stoop
Amax has got a billion troops
Your crew four chickens in a coop

It’s time we’re gonna let the world know
PHAT Data will show you how the world flows
AMAX the Chosen of the bizness
x86 we got solutions like the Whiz Kids

It’s time we’re gonna let the world know
PHAT Data will show you how the world flows
AMAX the Chosen of the bizness
x86 we got solutions for the WIKD

Where I feel for him now is so deep even words no longer have meaning. Only action.

The plot thickens…

Pathological liars will trip over their own tails.

He asked me if I would be in the city in the next couple of weeks before he left.

He doesn’t know what to do with you, my assistant said.

Good luck, was all I wrote, and for the second time, that was goodbye for us.

I don’t think I’ll ever see him again, I said to my assistant. I realized I didn’t care now, but someday I would think back to this moment and feel sad.

I rarely give out my cards anymore. I figure if people want to get in touch with me, they can figure it out.

If I’m gonna work with someone, I have to be able to understand what they’re saying. That’s my #1 criteria.

Submit to our Haiku contest for cool prizes and the chance to win an iPad3. You want to get a sumo because those will be part of our follow up photo contest where people take pictures of our sumo in funny, cute, random ways and places.

Go here if the above link is not working.

I just know when someone and I should talk. But the other person doesn’t always know.

My mom used to always say that I’m ahead of my time.

4/11 – SJSU
4/18 – Berkeley

Job fair tour. They’re unleashing me on impressionable young minds. “I am your leader…”

Here comes my army.

I’m over it now. The team is what matters.

I told them, every one of you is taking care of 1200 people. Your hands, your minds, are supporting an entire community. Families. These are your teammates. We make this company. We all stand or we all fail.

$300 million. We aren’t fucking around.

I’m losing control. Coming off the rails. Shit.

I know I need sleep really, really badly. Can’t seem to get it though. Even my dream world is fractured.

I dreamed the other night that I realized I had a fish tank but I’d forgotten about it for like 8 months. When I found it it was really dirty but the fish were still alive. I fed them more than I should, and I wondered if overeating after not eating in so long would end up killing them.

Then I saw that there were skeletons, so I had neglected some of them to death, and Peyote, my turtle who I’d released negligently into the wild a long time ago was there. He was huge. He climbed out of the aquarium and he had all this moss or something all over him. I felt his skin and he was feverishly warm, which freaked me out because a turtle should not have warm skin. I put him under running water trying to cool him down, and the whole time I was thinking, I caused this. I killed all of them.

This dream really bugged me, especially because I suspected the turtle was my mother, and I worry I’m going to stress her out or give her a heart attack with the way we argue. But we’ve been good lately. Only had 1 argument the last few weeks.

The next day, I was driving around and decided to go to Mountain View and find a place to read. I was walking back to my car when I saw a store that sold tropical fish. I thought it was weird that I would be in front of a fish store when I’d had that dream the night before, so I walked in, took a look around, spent some time staring at the turtle, didn’t find any answers, then left.

Today, my mom and I had a massive argument and that always makes me feel like shit. I guess the dream was a precursor to the weekend. I wonder what’s wrong with me. She says stop caring so much and I can’t. If I did, I wouldn’t even come in anymore. I just feel like everything is a lose-lose. I can’t put myself anywhere.  Stay and I feel like one day she’ll be gone and all I’ll have are these awful moments of guilt over these conflicts. Go and I abandon my team. That’s why my mind goes to such extremes to think the only way I can get out is with a drastic action.

Now I’m feeling the way I felt in my dream when I realized I was killing things with my inability to take care of things. I just feel pretty worthless, and all I can think of is wanting to be alone somewhere and not have to deal with people. Sometimes I feel like I live in a sort of purgatory–people like me, but they don’t want me in their lives. And in confident moments I don’t care, but in vulnerable moments, I wonder what the fuck I’m doing here.

He and I are both Gemini’s.

The thing is, I always thought I would end up with a Taurus.

I want a Taurus.

The music was loud so he leaned in to talk in my ear as I put my hand gently on his back, the tight curve of his muscle that I wanted to taste, his heat. I could feel his temperature spike when I touched him, both of us so aware of our contact.

But what is there between us?

It’s not good, and I mean REALLY good, unless there’s something between us. Otherwise, it’s only about convenience and someone always gets hurt.

Interesting. When Ryan had contacted me on Facebook out of the blue, it was almost exactly a year ago.