From Eckhart Tolle:
If in your relationship you experience both love and the opposite of love—attack, emotional violence, and so on—then it is likely that you are confusing ego attachment and addictive clinging with love. You cannot love your partner one moment and attack him or her the next. True love has no opposite. If your love has an opposite, then it is not love but a strong ego-need for a more complete and deeper sense of your self, a need that the other person cannot meet for you. It is the ego’s substitute for salvation or God.
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Take a deep breath. You’re all riled up. You know it’s not right. Doesn’t matter if he doesn’t know or understand, that’s for him to deal with. You do. This is your lesson. Don’t argue. Just accept your knowledge; you are not responsible for his knowledge. You’re on tilt right now. Take a deep breath. Collect yourself. Stay on your path. You have been doing great. This is just a test. Don’t let this experience pull you into the negative, having you do things you don’t want to do because of the anxiety you feel, saying things that aren’t you. No, you don’t treat people you care about that way–you are just so desperately trying to push him away because he’s clinging to you and you are afraid you will drown. Remember, you can breath underwater. And he can’t cling to you if you provide him no tension, no interaction, just be neutral. Don’t get knocked off your path when you don’t have to, Julia. YOU GOT THIS.