The Smell of Diesel and the Stickiness of Sex
Landed in Taiwan two days ago and getting off the plane, I was immediately hit by that thick, humid tropical air. The air immediately covers you with that post-sex stickiness (which is probably my least favorite part of sex) that makes you feel dirty instantly. I guess in both the physical and mental sense.
The first thing we did was eat. The people of this tiny island seem to have three loves: 1. Eating 2. Working 3. Shopping. With maybe getting foot massages running a distant fourth. The streets are crowded with street vendors selling all kinds of things which I can’t begin to identify (I saw something that looked like a flaccid uncircumsized penis!), let alone order. Food here is cheap. For example, my mom, brother and I settled in around 8am and went out for breakfast. We ordered the following (I’ll post pictures from the trip and of the food on my website when I get back. I’ll do the best to describe what we ordered):
2 bowls of noodle soup
1 bowl of beef noodles
2 orders of tofu with cilantro and plum sauce
1 bowl of fried fish pieces in a thick mushroom stew
1 fried Chinese croissant
1 order of steamed dumplings
2 orders of grilled beet cake
2 orders of egg tortillas
2 cups of cold soy milk
All this set us back the equivalent of $9 US. For three people to eat like pigs. Granted, these places aren’t passing any food inspection exams anytime soon. Or…ever. But this stuff was pretty damn good.
The thing that I forgot but was reminded of right away, is the fact that this country is redefining the term “waif.” Taiwan is a little island with no cows. Therefore, people don’t drink milk and tend to eat limited quantities of meat. The result of this is that the average waist size of men and women combined is -2. Consequently, I’m considered a cow here. At least in India, I would be considered sacred. But the flipside is that while clothing stores don’t carry sizes above 5 (five for FAT, or Large), the top bra size at lingerie store is 31B. I walked in and the saleswoman said right away, I don’t think we’re going to have anything that will fit you. That’s right. Go milk!
I happened to catch the Lakers/Twolves game today. Well, KG’s the man. And now I have to deal with another year of cocky LA fans. Fuck yall.
Til next time…hope everyone had a great weekend.