Confessions of an Unmotivated Voyeur

The potluck at our place was on Saturday night, and we had about 20 people and a hell of a lot of good food. I made broiled jerk chicken drumsticks and gyoza (Japanese pot stickers), as well as an assortment of improvised shots and blended drinks after dinner. We played a game of Mafia in which Alex and I, as mafia, won, and by early morning, everyone was pretty much passed out. We heard shouting from across the street so AD and I ran out to the front balcony. What is it about possibly witnessing a fight that gets people so morbidly excited? It was the two B-school guys who live across the street, their windows directly across from mine. They were in the street and one guy was storming around the corner while the other guy said, “I’m gonna beat your ass as soon as I pay for the taxi.” He spent about 10 minutes paying the cab driver before getting in his car and speeding off, swerving down our street, generously using both lanes. The asshole was totally drunk driving. Meanwhile, the other guy went upstairs and in his drunken state, neglected to close his curtains. Mind you, I parade around my place in my underwear near compulsively, not to mention the infamous spider incident* so as much as they’ve seen me, I’ve never seen them in any compromising states.

*I had just gotten out of the shower one afternoon when I found a big spider in the middle of the living room. I’m talkin’ big, black and thick, about the sprawl of a half-dollar. I am intensely arachnophobic, so after screaming like someone just shoved a fire engine up my ass, I got a plastic cup and put it over the spider, slid a postcard underneath it and went running and screaming towards the front balcony, losing my towel in the process. I fling the cup, postcard and everything that is evil over the side, but as I look down, the cup and spider gracefully falling down three floors, I see some chick walking on the sidewalk just below my balcony.

So to recap, from the neighbors’ point of view: This crazy chick comes running out of her house naked, screaming, and throws a spider on someone’s head.

So the guy goes into his room and starts stumbling around stripping off his clothes. Keep in mind, I see him and his roommate coming home after playing soccer all the time, so the guy is pretty built. AD says, “This is AWESOME! It’s like Rear Window!” but I’m just wondering if he’s about to get naked in front of us. He gets down to his boxers before stumbling out of the room; we wait about 10 minutes but he doesn’t return. AD figures my neighbor’s taking a crap, so he sprawls out on my balcony floor and passes out. I realize that I don’t really want to see my neighbor naked, lose interest, and go to bed.

July 19th, 2004 | Comments Off on

Paradox = Potential

I was sitting and listening to someone who was somewhat boring, so I was idly stirring some ice cubes in a plastic cup with a straw. I started to notice a burning sensation in my inner thigh but didn’t want to be rude and interrupt the person speaking so I continued to stay engaged in the conversation. The burning started getting more intense to the point where I was on the verge of jumping up and yelling, “My leg is on fire!” So finally, I shoot a hand down to my leg and discover that somehow, I had popped an ice cube into my chair and it had melted through my pants. I thought it was interesting that I experienced it as a something intensely “hot” when, if I had been mentally cognizant of its properties, I would have perceived it as being intensely “cold.” So of course, this person is trying to small talk with me and my brain is off thinking about the mathematical properties of infinity and all the theoretical implications it has on the fabric of reality, since hot/cold is another example of two polar opposites producing somewhat similar results. I think the symbol for infinity is absolutely apropos. Think about the point at the middle of the symbol. Imagine 2 points are sitting on it. Now imagine each point moving in opposite directions at exact intervals so that the distance from the starting point of one is always equal to the distance from the starting point of the other. Move each down the arms of the symbol so each takes a different path down the loop until they both arrive at the exact same point in which they started from. So this exact point, at this exact “time,” representing the point in which these two points are closest together (existing in the exact same space) as well as farthest from each other. Time would be represent the added perception (like…what is it that satellites use? Triangulation formulas?) to be able to measure a difference. But I still believe infinity is the point in which polar opposites exist at the exact same point. Two sides of a coin. Thin line between love and hate. Don’t ever ask for a soulmate. The dynamic is infinite. You will get the most intense experience of love/hate that’s both uplifting and destructive. But then again, destruction equals change equals reconstruction, right? It’s all a journey.

July 19th, 2004 | Tags: | Comments Off on