Echo

safe at home
my soul is open to the entire world
everywhere, i hear the echoes of people
it’s like i’m watching their lives unfold, with or without me
everything happening inside of them
but entire universes

sometimes i don’t know if they’re real or not
so i just always try to think of them positively just in case

my emotions are three dimensionally visual
i can light you in light
i can light you in dark
as long as you tell me where your core is
your deepest secret
i can build you from the ground up with my mind
because my secret is i’m blind

you want it bad enough
i’ll give it to you until things stop adding up

but if i stopped turning these lights on real people
and projected them into realms that don’t exist
i could get a lot more done

sometimes i wonder how hard i really want to be useful
how much i really want to share

because it really is more fun getting inside of people
even though it hurts a little more

technology is right now. how information travels. how to find a universal language. you can feel it in the air in aquarius. blue lightning. smell of fresh rain on cement. dramatic winds. blue. everything’s blue. but only if you’re quick enough to catch it from the corner of your eye. the next stage is a common language that unlocks everything, simultaneous understanding on multiple levels.

the problem is, you are human and i am not. everyone has got to be kinder. doesn’t mean i stop being honest. it just means take the kind route whenever possible, even if it totally hurts. be a bigger person.

that was the one thing my parents always instilled in me. no matter what, always be the bigger person. i learned not to be the mean person. i learned not to be the manipulative person. i learned not to be the coward. i learned not to be angry with walls. bigger meant not being harder. not being higher. not being overpowering. it ultimately meant exercising the discipline to let go, so that no matter what happened, you wouldn’t let it hurt you in any place that will kill you. you believe that you will always be able to heal. it meant seeing that no matter what someone’s age, sometimes people behave like children, so you have to be understanding (though never enabling), and show them a strong example of character. or you do your best to. it’s hard being human, but it’s just what you strive for.

truth hands

sarah and jef have something they call “truth hands.”

sarah and jef have two cats.

one called killer who was jef’s cat from his life in indiana before he met sarah. the story is that one night, coming home from work, jef got out of his truck to find a kitten nearby. he never wanted a cat so he walked away but found that the kitten followed him, all the way to the stairs of his apartment. as he walked up, he saw the kitten struggling up the stairs that were almost too big for him. he decided that if the kitten made it all the way up the stairs and through the door of his apartment, he’d keep him.

this is how killer chose jef.

the other is truth.

sarah and jef decided to find a companion together for killer. they had also just moved to florida and maybe there’s just something lonely about florida.

they were at the shelter and sarah saw the name truth. all they could see of truth were two tiny little ears peeking out of a food bowl.

sarah remembers a life changing paper she wrote in college where she had to decide on one core philosophy and apply it to different issues, and she had chosen truth as her life philosophy.

this is how sarah chose truth.

truth is a broken cat. she was taken away from her mother too young, and received treatments too early that made her sick. truth never quite looks you in the eye and you have to be very careful when you touch her, showing her you have the purest of intentions.

since jef and killer bonded in a very rough, masculine way, sarah describes to jef the act of being gentle as “truth hands.” it’s being able to put the ego completely down and be open.

sometimes, even if it hurts you, you have to use “truth hands” because it’s the kindest thing to do.

i’m in a great mood today. a bit of a rollercoaster, but it was raining today, so it was very peaceful to be home.

tomorrow i start a new era. new gym.

actually two new gyms. one on each coast. that’s been a real positive. gyms are like homes to me and having new expansive places to explore has been exactly what i need.

today was a day filled with beauty and light.

honey, your kids are on drugs:

i love folk implosion.