i just had a talk with my realtor about why i wrote a letter to her manager saying that while she’s a nice person, she’s negligent, unresponsive and underwhelming in her attention to her professional duties. just recounting all the lapses in her performance was exhausting, and i even told her, “i’m exhausted just going over how hard it was to get on the same page with you and get you to communicate, when in a 10 minute phone call with the other agent, we worked out everything.” she did say that a lot of people normally wouldn’t put that much energy and time into leases versus sales, but she did try to put in work.
that’s like a guy saying to a girl, “most guys would just use you for sex, but i did buy you dinner a few times first.”
i feel like basically, saying that, why sign the contract to rep my property and waste my time, if you viewed it as a low priority to begin with and then try to make an excuse that basically says, “I really didn’t care that much, but I did try to care a little?”
whatever. i’m glad i’m me and not her. at least i’m competent and don’t make excuses when i’m just being lazy.
I’ve put together deals worth just under a million. If I go work for my mom, I will have the opportunity to put together multi-million dollar deals if I believe in myself enough. My greatest fear is that this company has always been her territory, and I’ve always tried to carve mine. The entire family has always had such high expectations of me, that sometimes I feel I have to be perfect in their eyes. Failure is a part of success. You have to fall down lots of times to get better at walking, then running, but while I know this, I also don’t like for them to see the times I fall down. In the past, I just let them know when I’ve won an award, or achieved something. But working for her, they’re going to see all of it, and it’s so much pressure because I don’t want them freaking out when I fall down. I always stand up, but I need them to accept the human process when it comes to me. That’s one of the reasons I never wanted to work for them. The Dark Side, we call the company, since everyone ends up working there. But they always planned for me to be the successor, but weren’t willing to train me. So I became the Prodigal Daughter.
Now, things have changed. My mom had her scare and realized she can’t do it all herself forever. I’m going stir crazy from lack of challenges, particularly since I can’t play basketball anymore so I don’t have that outlet for pushing myself through self-discipline and competition. I don’t have anything that spikes my dopamine levels, which I need. I went in to discuss with Bohr. He doesn’t want to be a product manager anymore, and while he wants the sales commission, he doesn’t want to do sales. He wants us to be a team…I’m the face, brain and mouth, he’s the technical back-up. We would split commission. Working for the Dark Side.
Outcome is 50/50 right now.