Echo

Where you from? Sunset and Brentwood.
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Left phone in two different countries in a two week span.
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I suggest doing sake bombs in the cab and Brian contemplates it then laughs. You have no gag reflex, you would win. That’s retarded.
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You have a past with her. But you could have a future with me.
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You can’t expect people to be mind readers and even if you happen to find one, its an art not a science
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I get it. You need people to be direct. But how can you expect them to when you’re not?
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You left the relationship you weren’t sure about because…what if you met the one?

And that should be enough of a reason. Because it means she wasn’t. And she has the right to find her one as well.

If right now, I drowned all your questions in water, all you would be thinking about is how to breathe underwater. And imagine that at your most desperate moment, you inhale and find that you can breathe. Do you still care about questions? Or is it just about understanding what just happened? It’s time to wake up.
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He fights the very things he should be trying to understand.
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The world doesn’t conform to fit the way you see it. You open yourself up to see the world.
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9 day email to jc:

Dude, I was sitting in bed, listening to music and icing my knee and I must have nodded off because I was dream-thinking about how an ant perceives itself and if they knew anything about the pyramids, when I could see the world from the scale and perspective of an ant, and how he saw his body parts in the same proportions as we see our arms and legs. And the ant showed me how in his world, he is very big. And a pile of sand he’d stacked was very small. But then a hand came out of the sky and took his pile to the other side, where his pile became very big, and the ant was very small. And I could see it all and it visually made exact sense. The worlds looked like the infinity sign–twisted in the middle and opposite proportions but otherwise, exactly the same. I wish I could draw.

The music woke me up.  It’s frustrating not to be able to convey what I saw…I’ve been seeing flashes of this principle since I was a little kid, this paradoxical fluidity, a drop of water that’s both the smallest thing that turns into the biggest thing that envelopes everything in the universe back into the smallest thing, and the loop was perfectly closed and filled space completely and simultaneously. If somehow someone or something was able to reach right into the middle where things are most contradicting but existing in the exact same space, where the loop twists, it may be possible to bring back something of bigger or smaller proportion.

Like my big rebound today if you saw it. I’m pretty sure that was out of proportion.

this is what the ant told me when i asked him how the pyramids were built.

he said, in his world, he is very big. and what he built with sand was very small. And then one day, a big hand reached in and took the sand to the other side where the sand was very big, and he was very small.

I am a lying motherfucker and I know it. I look people in the eye so honestly, and it always comes out a lie.

The greeks had it right. The smartest people were always the blindest.
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Don’t pull your thang out, unless you came to bang.
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you must know darkness to recognize light.

machiavelli’s prince and sun tzu’s art of war. make me feel like there are people out there who understand truth.

he read the poem and called me a gemini assassin and i nearly fell out of my chair. in a good way.

i laughed. well, my blog is black, i said.

it could also mean emo, he said.

i’m not emo.

there’s a ninja that guards my portal, i said.

i don’t doubt that, he said.

strange though, that this conversation came up because it was in an email that somehow had not reached me. and he’d panicked when i didn’t respond.

i was voracious today.