It Ain’t A Good Time ‘Til You Throw Up a Lil In Your Mouth

So I was at the gym last night, sitting in the jacuzzi, which I’ve found has miraculously alleviated my back issues. Behind this wall are these shower spouts, and everyone who gets into the jacuzzi is required to rinse off first. So since I’m near the edge of the wall and can see around it, I happen to glance towards the shower and see this middle-aged obese, hairy Persian guy rinsing himself, wearing what looks like tight briefs. As he turns off the shower and starts walking towards me, I can feel the bile rising up my throat and into my mouth. From my lucky perspective sitting at ground level below him, he is indeed wearing briefs, which are now wet, see-through, and clinging to his…bush. There was quite a mass of hairy darkness in there.

He gets into the jacuzzi; I sprint out.

I know that swimming shorts are essentially underwear, but jesus. I’ve had that image burned in my head all day and it’s given me a headache.