Traveling the Landscape of a Gemini Rollercoaster
Sorry I haven’t blogged for a while. I ended up in jail. You may have read about it in the news. I was arrested for supposedly transporting 60 lbs. of marijuana stuffed into 4 coffins that were loaded into the back of a truck. It happened because my cousin’s girlfriend’s brother Rico was telling me about wanting to do this one night and I was like, that’s crazy. that’s serious trouble if you get caught. And he was like, you listen to me you little bitch. you ever disparage one of my idea again [Rico went to Northwestern], i’ll cut your fucking nose off. and secondly, they’re coffins. those cops aren’t gonna open up a coffin.
So he calls his best friend Loco Joe who’s got a hookup up in Sacramento. Loc and his buddy Benito come up with the coffins in a u-haul, and I just happened to be there. Loc and Rico loaded up the coffins, while Benito kept trying to molest me, acting like it was all just innocent flirting. Fucker. When everything was finally packed and ready to go, I obviously wanted to ride with Rico in the truck because I didn’t want to be left alone with Loco Joe and fucking Benito. I’d get sold into sex slavery or some shit. But then, next thing I know, the cops are pulling us over because as ingenious as those guys were about hiding the pot, they somehow didn’t calculate how pungent 60 pounds of weed would be.
So if any of my loyal readers would like to make a donation towards my defense in the upcoming trial, please look for my listing on www.foxy-female-inmate-penpals.net . I’m the non-burly one.