I got up at 6 in the morning today but had some issuees with airport parking so I just barely made my flight to Honolulu. I was the last one to check in and ended up getting a window seat in the exit aisle. I like how they explain to people how the doors open and how to assist people. Every single person knows that in case of an emergency, the exit row people are gonna open that door and be like, “Fuck this…I’m out!” I have a feeling though, I’d be the sucker who would actually assist people, because I would feel like if I didn’t and survived, karma would kick my ass.
My seat didn’t recline, but I’m one of those people who can sleep anywhere, in any position. I don’t know what’s up with the fact that when I fall asleep in a sitting position, my mouth opens. So I sleep with my mouth open.
I arrived at Honolulu and it’s crazy hot. I met up with my mom and it was great to see her. My mom and I get along really well, even though our relationship is really fiery. Any phone conversation starts with yelling and ends with yelling, but at the end of the day, we get along well because we’re both strong personalities who happen to be easy-going.
I signed up for surfing lessons, after an extensive conversation with the activities guy about how attentive the guides are to students that may be drowning. He asked if I was a strong swimmer and I said I was, but I get really disoriented when I’m underwater so I’m kind of terrified of the ocean. I realized that the water in Hawaii is clear, so that made me worry less. At least if I’m drowning, they’ll be able to see me flailing around underwater. We’ll see how this goes. Is it bad that my major motivation for wanting to learn how to surf is to get my back ripped?
We tried to go to this sushi restaurant that’s supposed to be the best in the city, but it was closed until dinnertime, so we went to this little sushi cafe that was okay. I learned that I do not like raw clam sashimi. At least when it’s served at a little beachfront sushi dive.
There’s an ABC store every block, literally, here. They’re like these convenience stores, akin to 7-11’s. Yet my mom and I managed to stop at every one on the way back to the hotel to buy something. We’re both scatterbrained so we would buy something, then half a block later, realized we forgot something else (ie bottled water, sunblock, beach mats, etc).
We checked out the hotel pool that was supposed to be nice, but it was the size of a regular housepool with about 40 little kids in it. I thought it was the kiddie pool and looked around, but nope. That was it. I realized the ratio of pee to water must be about 45/55, yet it was so hot, I had to get in just to get wet. I had a Mai Tai, totally fell asleep, woke up to find the sun setting. Oops. Tomorrow I plan to tan my backside.
So my mom and I are exercise freaks. We exercise so we can eat. We wanted to work out, so I went there first because she was dicking around the room, and it was just me and this really, really hot guy. He looked like one of the models in the Equinox ads, and he was doing major core exercises with weights while wearing a sweat-drenched wife-beater. Watching him work out was total chick porn.
So according to my book on how each sign should specifically handle their Saturn Return, my Saturn Return in Leo in the 1st House requires that I do things that are more ballsy and assertive. Specifically, one of the exercises is to walk up to the hottest guy in the room and start a conversation. So I’ve been trying to do that but lately, wherever I’ve gone, the hottest guy in the room/bar/club has been underwhelming so it never felt like a challenge. This guy made me simultaneously want to lick him and club him over the head and put him in my suitcase.
So I stared at him for a good 15 minutes while I was on the elliptical, but when he walked over to get water, I started asking him about the exercises he was doing on the ball. We talked for a few minutes, but the rest of the time, we would keep smiling at each other when we would catch each other’s eye on the mirror. I saw him in the hotel later and he had his shirt off which made my head hurt. That guy has to be a sports model. No regular human being dedicates himself to getting his body to look like that unless he were paid. He saw me and smiled. I don’t care that I’m on vacation with my family. If I see him out and about, I’m taking that home.
