Echo

Stealing someone’s ideas is like eating their dreams.

I just don’t like seeing people gleefully keep secrets from the ones they supposedly love.

If any of my team acted the way they did that night, I would pull them into a tiny room to have a one-on-one with me.

I’ll still work with your company, but I’ll never do business with you again.

You know how the fear in allowing gays into the military was that it would be a distraction if they tried seducing their fellow soldiers?

That’s what it’s like trying to work with a guy who wants to fuck everything and thinks of no as a challenge.

I am a floor general. I’m fighting in the trenches, leading an army. I can’t do my job if I have to worry about someone trying to fuck me when I’m not looking.

They’ve been trying to treat us like we work for them. It’s time they remember they work for us.

I need someone to help program the analytics programs on top of Hadoop. We can run a social experiment with resulting program something we can productize.

Yesterday two (male) business associates let me order their drinks for them. I told the bartender, they want something that puts hair on their chest and make their balls drop.

The bartender looked super offended.

He asks me when I plan to settle down and I told him, when I meet a guy who’s not intimidated by me. He says he’s not intimidated by me at all and I say, of course you’re not. You’re hiding behind your wife and kids.

Coming out of the woodwork today. Have they reconnected because i thought of them, or did I sense them around me?

I want the one I want to speak to me. That’s all.

I left for lunch at 1 today. Driving, I thought of last night. I thought of Alaska.

He called me twice. I took both calls on the floor.

It was awkward. I don’t know why he’s calling because he doesn’t either. But more so, I want to stick to the story.

He texted me last night. If the night were younger, I would give you my room number.

What’s he doing.

He tells me he’s never met anyone like me. That he’s so intrigued by me but he also loves his wife and kids.

I am so on edge.

I’ve been here before, I tell him. I think about Amsterdam, Alaska, Dave and Daniel. Even Jerry. I think about sparks and gut wrench.

This here, I say, what you think this is, I’ve been here before. The guy changes but it’s the same thing. You’ve never met anyone like me before. You’re walking a line. Met with a choice. But there’s no room in your life for me. And so, here we are.

I don’t play this game anymore.

So I told him. Don’t worry. There’s no conflict here. I watched the man I love get married a few weeks ago so it’s the end of something, but life is all beginnings and ends. Random meetings, and sometimes chemistry that leads and doesn’t lead anywhere. What matters are the constants. The things you can reach out and touch, that remind you of who you really are.

I wondered what kind of man he was. If he was hunting a panther and found a rabbit, would he kill it?

Because I have two sides, and there’s a reason one is so strong. It protects the other.

I messaged J.

Sometimes you don’t know if what you’re doing is good or bad, you’re only doing. I love words and getting tangled up in words. The truth is through words, I’ve never heard an echo. I am so lonely. I don’t really care about anything else. The truth is I don’t know if I have any room for the world, or if the world has any room for me.

I longed for the solitude of Seattle.

Maybe I’m looking for May 14th.

If there’s any guy out there who can hold me sleeping in his arms and not try to sleep with me, I would appreciate him.

He said, thanks for being a good girl. It could have ended much worse.

I said, I run a ninja school. I have to set a good example. It begins and ends with honor.

Back in Seattle. Hope this break helps.

Howard taught me how to still be happy for someone, even if I don’t have him.

Because if I let my friends talk to me the way you did that night, what about my enemies?

I am very angry.

I don’t like drunk people.