It just takes time for me to trust someone. And people who rush me or expect it to happen without putting effort into being trustworthy…they’ll never get in.

October 21st, 2011 | Comments Off on

I had a dream last night I went to a customer’s site and had a meeting with Intel but I’d set it up and was in charge so I wasn’t worried. It was on Halloween and then there was a band playing afterwards onsite. There was a guy I was interested in who was going to be in the meeting (I think it was yhe lawyer I went on a date with) so I was excited about staying afterwards for the concert and spending time with him. I got there early and found that my shirt wasn’t all the way on (I’d missed the armhole) so I went to the bathroom. First the toilet was so high that I tried getting up there with a step ladder that was in the room but decided against going because it looked like a recipe for an accident. Then I tried to fix my shirt but it turned out I was wearing a lot of layers so I took them off and ended up carrying a pile of clothes into the meeting.

After, I grabbed a booth near the front of the stage and was texting the guy and my assistant that I was saving them a seat. This Vietnamese girl tried to take the seats and I kept telling her these were mine but she could have up to where the seats broke up, but she kept crowding the seat I was saving for my assistant so I got mad and pushed her side of the couch until there was a 2 inch gap and told her her butt better not cross that line. I texted my assistant and told her to hurry, but then I wondered why I was working so hard to save her a seat given what was going on between her and J.

I think there must have been 2 guys there. One was a male coworker who I knew kind of liked me who showed up at the booth but I wasn’t paying a lot of attention to him because I was texting with the lawyer to see where he was. The lawyer texted me and casually mentioned “my girlfriend” something, and I was shocked but just went with the flow like it didn’t faze me and this must all have been nothing.

Later, I was really shaken by it. I’d taken it and had gone with the flow instead of asking him WTF and calling him out on being a sneaky turd. I was angry with myself for being non-confrontational and not standing up for myself while meanwhile standing up for someone (my asst) when I was angry about what she was doing right in front of me.

October 21st, 2011 | Comments Off on