WHITNEY!
I’m rewatching Romy and Michele’s (Best movie ever!) and you know that scene where the vice principal tells Michele she has detention and they’re walking away with their hamburgers? Did you ever notice Sandy Frink way in the background, fully turned around, staring longingly at her with a big goofy grin? I think I just found the antithesis of that Twin Peaks’ guy-crouching-at-the-food-of-the-bed shot. It’s freakin’ HILARIOUS.
Indians pitcher shot on team bus
Some of my favorite quotes from Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion:
[looking at yearbook pictures]
Romy : Oh my God! Remember what a big controversy it was for us to have our picture taken together?
Michele : Yeah, because Danny Weller like, lodged that complaint. Because alphabetically he was supposed to be between us.
Romy : So we said: “OK Danny. If you want to be between us, come to Michele’s house on Friday night and we’ll be waiting.”
Michele : And then he showed up, and we were like: “Danny, it was a joke!”
Romy : And then we turned the sprinklers on him! [both laugh hysterically]
Michele : Oh my God! [abruptly stops laughing]
Michele : Didn’t he die?
Romy : I think so.
******
Heather : Why are you tormenting me? Why don’t you go fuck a sheep, or your sister, or YOURSELF? Braindead redneck asshole!
******
Clarence: By the way, I never fucked a sheep or my sister.
Heather: Why? You couldn’t catch them?
******
Romy : Hey, um, great suit. Is that an Armani?
Suit Salesman : Yes. Yes, it is.
Romy : I thought so. So, what do you do?
Suit Salesman : I’m a suit salesman.
Romy : Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood.
******
Michele : Oh my God, you did it!
Romy : Yeah, I did.
Michele : What did you have to do?
Romy : I had to give everyone in the service department hand jobs.
Michele : Well, while you were doing that, I made us a tape of all the nostalgic songs from high school to get us in the mood.
Romy : Michele?
Michele : What?
Romy : Do you really think I would do that? For a car?
[Michele stares blankly]
Romy : Just get in.
Michele : O.K.
******
Heather : Do you live with Michele Weinberger?
Romy : Yeah.
Heather : I just figured she’d be married to Sandy by now.
Romy : Sandy Frink?
Heather : Yes, Sandy Frink! He could barely contain his erection every time she walked by! Why do you think he always carried around that huge notebook?
Romy : The Frink-a-zoid and Michele… I’m sure! Besides, didn’t *you* have a thing for Sandy in high school?
Heather : I did not have a THING! I did not have a thing, I did NOT have a THING! I was VERY much in love with him! VERY much in love and there’s a difference!
[to customer behind her]
Heather : There’s a difference!
[to Romy]
Heather : There’s a difference!
[whispers]
I have to go now.
******
Toby Walters : Since you never got around to it in high school, I was wondering if you would sign my yearbook. And please don’t tell me to fuck off, because it really hurts my feelings.
Heather : I hurt your feelings?
Toby Walters : Yeah, all the time.
Heather : Tremendous! That’s tremendous! Go get your stupid yearbook, I would be happy to sign it!
******
Heather : This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy.
******
Michele : For me, it’s like I’ve just given birth to my own baby girl, except she’s like a big giant girl who smokes and says “shit” a lot. You know?
******
Romy : I’ve been killing myself for eight days and I gained a pound.
Michele : That’s impossible. Did you deduct sixteen pounds for your shoes?
******
Romy : Well, anyways, are you going?
Heather : [referring to her cigarette] I’d rather put this out in my ass!
******
Michele : Remember the prom? You got so thin by then.
Romy : Oh, I know. I was so lucky getting mono. That was like the best diet ever.
******
Romy : Well at least she’s not the one who got *fat*.
Christie : We’re pregnant, you half-wit.
Romy : Yeah, well, I hope your babies look like monkeys!
******
Michele : I’m the Mary, and you’re the Rhoda.
Romy : YOU’RE the Rhoda, you’re the Jewish one.