Snippets from Club Manic Theatre:
Interior.Living Room. Night
[Julia enters.]
Julia: Dude, Brian, I just picked up my first spider!
Brian: WHAT???
Julia: I think I just took a huge step in confronting my arachnophobia.
Brian: OHHHH. I thought you said something about you killed a fighter.
(to Lauren)
I’m laying on the couch watching TV this morning and this bitch comes walking up to the doorway, just like this…
[He staggers through the door with his eyes barely open]
…I was up until four in the morning…….playing video games. In her t-shirt…and black panties. And I’m like, gooooood god. Jesus fucking christ, not in the morning.” And I’m like, “Girl. Pull up your panties!”
Julia: Dude. Why are you messing with me?
Brian: I’m NOT messing with you!
Julia [walking back to her room]: Whatever. I was just telling you that I picked up a spider.
Brian: That’s great!
Julia: Fuck you.
Brian (angry): What the fuck? I’m trying to tell you that’s great and you tell me fuck you.
Julia: You’re just mad that I didn’t tell you about that guy.
Brian: Pshhh…I don’t give a fuck. So next time you freak out because there’s a spider in your room, you won’t irritate the hell out of me about it.
Julia: Well, I can’t guarantee that I can do it again. This may be a one time thing.
Brian: Well if you can do something once, you can do it again.
Julia: You think so?
Brian: Yeah, like fucking a guy on a massage table and acting like nothing happened I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU PLAYED ME!!! This whole time!! You TOTALLY played that off like, that guy was gross, he was all weird and had weird shit in his house, eeeeew…and you totally FUCKED HIM.
Julia: You had no idea?
Brian: I had NO idea! This WHOLE time. You totally played it off like you were weirded out by him. You told me, I thought he was a freak, I got weirded out, I came home early and I BELIEVED you!
Lauren: But meanwhile. You fucked him.
Julia: Isn’t it weird, all the secrets people have? I have so many secrets that no one in the world who knows me has any idea about.
Lauren: I don’t think I have any secrets. I pretty much tell people everything.
Julia: Come on. You’re Scorpio Moon. You MUST.
Lauren: Well…..yeah. I guess I do have a few secrets.
Julia: Like what?
Brian: Her huge dong.
Lauren: I just shave and tuck away. Shave…and tuck away.
Julia: Why shave?
Lauren: Well…the hair gets caught in my zipper. And it’s really uncomfortable.
10 minutes later
Lauren: Okay, I’m gonna go now.
Brian (in an English Accent): Roight. Roight roight roight roight roight.
Lauren (in an aristocratic accent): Ciao! Ciao for now!
Brian: Roight, roight roight roight.
Lauren: Ciao! Ciao for now!
Brian: Roight roight roight.
Lauren: Ciao!
[Brian closes the door]
(dude. Our place? Weird shit goes down).
9/22 Recap
Had a great meeting this morning. Negotiated some great avenues to help our company achieve aggressive financial growth. Which is pointless because my boss is CHEAP and everything I do is pretty much wasted effort. I hate my job. What is the point of me working so hard to build relationships and finding opportunities for my company to make a shitload of money to achieve the aggressive growth my boss demands (20-25% a month) if they WON’T GIVE ME A REASONABLE BUDGET. I’m going to leave soon. I have to. There is no point of me even trying if they’re gonna be cheap muthafuckers and expect huge growth on no risk. I even offered to donate my salary to cover the fee to sponser a major hospitality conference where I found a hooked up liason who will personally give us access to CEOs and COOs of the major hotel chains. And they laughed and said, “No, don’t do that. It’s not right.” What’s not freakin’ right is how they waste me. What is the point of me strategizing realistic ways to put our company in the path of lucrative deals for moderate risk when they won’t do anything? FUCK THEM. I’m not going in anymore. I’m just not showing up anymore. Gonna go to Bennigans and hang out with Jennifer Aniston. And discuss her lack of “flare.”
Met up after work with this guy Jon whom I met at the food court last week. I told Brian I was meeting up with “the guy I met at the food court last week” and he asked, “Not that guy who fucks other guys?” No, not the same guy. No, I don’t know if this one fucks other guys. But not the same guy. Would it be possible for me to ever live down that guy? Christ. We met up at Q’s and played pool with his friend Eric, whom I met last week, too (they were having lunch next to me). Jon’s a nice guy…very emotionally straightforward. Which I know would be good for me because I’m too complicated to be trying to date complicated people. But he’s also 4 years younger than me, and considering I have yet to date someone even MY age, this makes me feel like I’m robbing some sort of cradle. Plus, dating young guys…you’re asking for trouble. They’ve got wild oats to sow. So I only stayed for 45 minutes because I had to run home for a massage appointment, but in that time, he beat me at pool twice and we chatted about his grandmother who’s depressed. Like I said, nice guy, very easy connection. But not one that blows me away. Just a distraction. If even that. Plus, he lives in Irvine. Which, unless he had been a soulmate of the passionate love connection ilk, makes him geographically undesirable.
I was getting a massage because I’ve got this problem in my right glute that needs to go away. So my chiro suggested trying massage therapy. So this woman was massaging my ass and I was asking her if she thought the problem was due to nerves or due to muscular tension. So I asked her, “Is it muscular?” And we both simultaneously realized that it sounded like I was asking her about the firmness of my butt as she rubbed it. Good God. Make it stop…
Today’s mood: http://www.greenplastic.com/lyrics/rh_songs/exitmusic.php