I’ve Got Doctor’s Orders to Stimulate Myself!
I went to my chiro today and we’re running out of treatment options for my back. So she says:
“I’m going to put something called an Accu-aid on you. It’s like a bandaid with a small needle in the middle that I’m going to put on a trigger point, and then throughout the day, you have to reach back there and stimulate yourself.”
OH.
MY.
GOD.
“Reach back there and stimulate yourself.” ??????????
My head nearly exploded. So I was trying to be an adult and hold in my hysteria but about 30 seconds later, I burst out laughing and couldn’t stop. I had tears. I felt terrible because I was convulsing with laughter and she couldn’t treat me so she took this time to get some tape outside while I went through my giggle fit. I settled down but about 5 minutes later, I heard her say it again in my head and started cracking up again. This is the same doctor who asked me if I do coke or have raucous sex because she couldn’t understand why my body wasn’t holding the adjustments.
Jordan Rosenberg has luscious eyelashes. :)
Que Sera Sera
Today is Rie’s birthday. I called her and found her at home. I was VERY concerned as to why she answered my call and wasn’t getting laid (I come from the school of thought that EVERYONE should get laid on their birthdays. And that I should get laid on my birthday as well as everyone else’s. But that’s fodder for another post). Her fiance is an ER resident and was working late tonight so she spent her birthday going to a yoga class and then hanging out at home. If I had known she wouldn’t have plans, I would have sent her a plane ticket so she could come out here for dinner and a titty bar. I love that girl. I miss her so much.
I emailed Ethan today because I missed him too. Today was all about that midwest love. He’s great. Hearing from him just makes me happy.
I had an uplifting day today, for reasons left unspecified. I was in a really good mood. I think sometimes, you just have to let things be. Life lessons…do we really become wiser? How do we know when we’re being taught a lesson and when we’re being rewarded? Or when our lesson is to let go and walk away and when our lesson is to open up and trust? Why has it gotten to the point that I can’t be open anymore on this blog about the things that weigh the heaviest on me? Or can I? Am I really that courageous of a person?
I am in the hardest emotional situation I’ve ever been in. And I’m going to stop fighting it and let whatever is meant to be, just be. Is it possible the universe will give me Oct 13th? Just for once…can’t it find it in its heart to cut me a break? Haven’t I shown it that I have learned how to let go? That I can understand the lessons extracted from devastation and give back in positivity? That I am a good person? For once, can’t I just keep something in my life that means a lot to me? Honestly, God. Can’t I please just admit to you that I really care about someone without you taking that person away from me?
Dear Universe:
I called your customer service line and the monkey that answered just kept screeching and banging the handset against his desk. I did not find him very helpful. Is there possibly an alternate number I can call? At this point, I would even settle for an automated touchtone system.
Please don’t ask me how I feel. I don’t know how I feel. I only know how I feel in a vacuum.
I went to the gym today and beat 2 guys at HORSE 8 times in a row. On nearly all 3-pointers. I wasn’t fucking around today. I had some intense feelings to outlet.