please please please god…give me the strength to put on pants and go writing…i have a sweater on and socks…please give me the strength to put one leg on and then the other and be appropriate.

January 10th, 2005 | Comments Off on

Starbuck’s Chantico

What it is: (chocolate flavored) Liquid Crack

Target market: Pregnant women and women on their periods

Decadence Quotient: Off the scales

Review: Like melting down a bar of fine Belgium chocolate and drinking it, then writhing from self loathing over debased gluttony. The perfect tool of masochism for today’s way-too-fat-for-the-magazine-covers-anyway woman on the go. Three men were required to restrain me as I fought to lick the last drops of rich goodness out of the paper cup after contents had been consumed.

Emotional Consequence: Want to slice off resulting roll of fat from 6 oz. indulgence and flog myself with it.

Press: http://money.cnn.com/2005/01/07/news/fortune500/starbucks_chantico/

Verdict: Highly recommend

January 10th, 2005 | Comments Off on