SHIT!

My coworker just called me and was like, “What email were you replying to when you called me an asshole?”

I’m like, “Excuse me?”

He says, “What email were you replying to when you called me an asshole?”

I’m like, “Dude, I didn’t call you an asshole. I mean, you are an asshole, but I didn’t send you an email calling you an asshole.”

He says, “You sent me an email. The subject is E.T. and it just says, ‘You asshole.'”

And then it dawned on me.

He had sent me a video clip almost a year ago that showed a guy made up to look amazingly like E.T. getting a blowjob from a chick, from quite an advantageous (or disadvantageous…depends how you look at it) angle, as he lets out these weirdly alien E.T. moans.

And I was highly offended.

Well, my Outlook on my computer had suddenly stopped working right around that time, so I would write these emails and then try to send them, but when they wouldn’t go out, I would just leave them in the Outbox. I started accessing my email from a web browser and forgot about the emails stuck in my Outbox.

Last night I was tweaking from too much coffee so I was getting a lot of stuff done, including finally fixing my Outlook. I downloaded a year’s worth of old emails onto my computer and totally forgot that a year’s worth of random emails that I had drafted and left in Outlook’s Outbox folder would also get sent out.

Now I’m freaked out about what else was sent. I have a tendency to write angry emails and then let them sit as drafts to see if I cool down and feel differently. Or sometimes I write emails and wonder if I sound insane, so I leave them and reread them later to see if they’re okay. But since my Outlook was broken, I could very well have been leaving them in the Outbox knowing they couldn’t get out anyway cuz Outlook couldn’t connect to the server.

Well, as Urethra just said, I should just be zen about it. Whatever was sent was sent already. All I hope is that there weren’t any personal, embarrassing photo attachments or drunken declarations of love.