Echo

random notes from this week.

a. i have a habit of turning on a tv or putting on a cd in one room, and then wandering into the office to write. then as i’m writing, a part of me is listening to the cd or listening to the tv in the other room. it’s like i’ve unconsciously learned how to use electronic distractions to babysit my inner kid while i work.

b. fight or flight. yes, we know all about that one. but ever since hanging out with colin last year, i’m convinced there’s also a fuck or fight dynamic between people, no matter their genders. i think it runs along what the mars energy symbolizes…sex and aggression run through mars and when energy starts generating between people, they will either fuck or fight, though which one often being to the surprise of both parties involved.

c. i’m a cardio junkie. i played two hours of basketball today, then did an hour of cardio and grudgingly some weights. then i went home and took the best shower, and proclaimed to brian that i feel like i just had the world’s greatest orgy. it can really feel that good sometimes.

d. last month’s villain at the gym was really nice today. so much so, i kept doubting it was the same guy. however, this little punk who looked like the dude from creed was being a dumbass. he kept trying to get into our game and then was trying to organize a 5 on 5, but when this one guy wanted to pick me up for the game, he said, “she’s on your team then.”

hmmm. did you…did you just say what i think you said?

i didn’t really want to play anymore because i had played pretty intensely on sunday and i had tweaked my ankle in the previous game. but as i walked over to monitor the situation, the guy i had been playing with said he wanted me on his team, but the dude from creed called someone else over and said that he was going to be their 5th. my guy said, i already picked her up. and the dude from creed was trying to dismiss it by saying, she’s not playing. so my boy comes over and says, ‘you’re playing right?’

and i looked him in the eye and said calmly in a low tone, ‘now i am. and i’m gonna fuck him up.’

he looked at me for a second to see if i was kidding, then said, ‘let’s fuck him up.’

he was doing everything he could to not be assigned to guard me. but the problem is the little guys hate guarding me because i’m physical, or maybe the universe had already cornered him for me. i was looking at him like bait in a fish tank and nobody was letting him take their place.

the first play of the game, my guy found me on the wing and i hit that shot over scott stapp with the stupid haircut. first basket. it’s always worth more.

he looked irritated and tried to beat me on offense, but i easily got in front of him. his man had the ball on the right perimeter and i knew his guy was going to shoot, but punkass decided he was going to cut in hopes of a pass. so i saw him coming down the lane looking for the pass as the shot went up and i just did what i’ve always done best…boxed out.

i timed it just right to bounce him off my ass onto the ground. my my he was pissed.

the next play down, he came right at me and tried to post up on me. nothing makes me more irritated than a scrawny guy who thinks he can post up on me. so i got low and pushed him out of the key, then pulled the chair on him. oops.

i could have posted up on him but i couldn’t tell if he’s a quick learner and figured out the chair pull. so i drove on him…showing him who had the first step. didn’t make it but that didn’t matter. he’d been beat.

the next time down he came over and under the guise of scrambling for position, he shoves me in the neck. i reflexively throw an elbow at his ear that misses, which was good because it would have broken out into an open fight. all of a sudden, he gets slammed by someone. i look up and it’s the guy who’d apparently agreed to be my sidekick. he winks. then he reaches out his hand and picks creed boy off the ground, saying, ‘sorry, that was a foul. my fault.’

i’m laughing. thanks, man.

the rest of the game the guy avoided any confrontations but he didn’t take another shot. i scored on him a couple of times but i was humble about it. i’d already made my point.

don’t fuck with me.

I love Bill Simmons. I don’t know why more women aren’t openly declaring his writing style mind-tickling.

Then I became curious so I googled, “I love Bill Simmons”

And found this:

http://www.scriptedsports.com/10_19_07_simmons.html

Which is…wow. Good competition.

this is one of the funniest basketball articles this year:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080326

“And if that’s not enough, Gregg Popovich went a long way toward erasing the bias against coaches who don’t wear ties during games and look a little sloppy. … Every time he’s yelling at a referee, he looks like some drunk guy at a Martha’s Vineyard wedding who’s furious that the open bar just closed and eventually has to be restrained by two in-laws.”

pictures from germany are up on my myspace.

I had a dream last night that I left my world, my “movie” to participate in another one. I was young again, maybe in college, maybe not but I wasn’t working or going to class. I had borrowed my parents car, but when there was a problem with the tires, I abandoned it and asked some girls to pick me up. They were on their way to meet their boyfriends, these cholos in this hood. I was at this house that didn’t belong to them but that they were squatting in, and I was going through my CDs to put something good in. These guys came back and they wanted to start a gang, like a Fight Club gang. I was familiar with these but I told them there are people here who aren’t loyal and had evil intentions. I knew two for sure, because psychically, I had seen that they were spies for a rival gang. I tell one guy who I know is loyal, and he pulled out these two guys and shoots them in the head. It was brutal. But then this other guy insisted on pulling this other guy out who was a good man, and insisted that he needed to be sacrificed as well. I felt I could have stopped him, but suddenly I was popped out of the scene and I was only watching a movie, where you have no power to stop the scene unfolding. It was like the moment hung in the air, him with the gun in his hand, arm outstretched. Then I saw the gun fire, and seconds later, the sound of a body hit the ground. And it hurt me, deep through my insides, that a good man was killed.