Echo

Now Playing: U.N.K.L.E. – War Stories

It hailed on me today. I was trying to ride a bike and it was like having these searing heat-seeking missiles pop in your eye. I trooped through it until I couldn’t see and it started feeling like a personal attack. Took cover and had myself some coffee.

This city is crazy. Very complex. I’m still wary of talking to people here. It’s kind of like I can’t understand where they’re coming from yet so I don’t trust them.

I finally hung out at one of the coffeeshops. Having a professionally rolled joint is like a fine cigar. It was a pleasant, tasty smoke and then the music seemed to be increasing in decibels. I looked up at the lightbulb and I could see halos around it and a sudden sense of euphoria. Then the room began to darken, and I saw the people walking by as these metallic silhouettes. I started to get really hot so I took off my hat, which made me feel exposed to the room. Now I had to smile at people who walked by and looked at me. The waitress took a good 20 minutes to make a coffee with cream, but my God, it was delicious. I stared out the window for a while, writing down words and phrases that popped into my head. An American asked if he could share my table. He sat down and pulled out a journal. Hmmm. We were both scribbling away and I took a peek at his. His handwriting is a scrawl, secretive like mine, a code read only by the writer.

I caught him looking up at me a few times but I would look away. His friend showed up and they switched to another table. He glanced over from time to time and I’m sure there was at least a cursory discussion here. But I ignored it. I got up and left without making eye contact.

See, when I start storing up energy the way I have the last few months, it means a connection is coming in. A big soulmate connection and an important lesson/test to be co-created. This person and I have a life-changing experience to share, and much work to do. Since you don’t know who it is until you know, it’s kind of like picking up a foreign exchange student you’ve never met at the train station. When you find the person, you’ll just know, but until then, you question every person. These connections can be good or bad. They’re intended for you to grow, but sometimes it takes a difficult experience for you to grow.

final exam: an open-ended forum to show the universe what I’ve learned so far at this point in my life. If I can stay strong and positive and pay attention, it will determine the types of challenges I’ll be presented with in the next stage of my life. My goal is to show that I am projecting the type of energy that tells the universe that I don’t have to repeat lessons and I’m ready to move on.

Right now, I’m thinking about everything and trying to come up with a focused statement of, what have I learned so far, and where would I like to go from here. And once I’ve visualized it, I have to project it into the universe for approval.

In the spirit of Amsterdam and my hotel room offering free hardcore porn, I decided to explore…

Things I Think Are Hot:

–Button-Down Shirts with Ties – call it a dad fetish or whatever. But when I see a guy with nice shoulders in a shirt & tie, all I can think about is taking it off. Doesn’t work with old fat, married fucks, but any clean-cut guy in a shirt & tie makes me imagine taking his clothes off.

– Left-Handers – the minute I see someone is left handed, I automatically assume they’re creative and hold some kind of right-brained secret knowledge that us right-handers don’t possess. And I want it. I crumble at the hands of left-handers with dark, expressive eyes, and whenever a left hander is writing, I’m always staring at his hand like it’s the most fascinating thing I’ve ever seen.

-Pisces – they are my poison. I feel like I was born part Pisces and whenever I want to express to them that I think we’re alike, they crash me into the rocks like a ship caught in a storm. I can’t help that I was born in the wrong place. I just want to join your camp for a little while so you can give me some pointers.

-Twins – I was in love with a twin for a long time. I would have had no problem if that relationship needed to involve both of them. They say that Geminis need two of everything. That’s definitely true in my life. I even have two toothbrushes (both green). In terms of relationships, I can only handle one commitment. But as long as I haven’t made a commitment, all’s fair in love and war, and I think two is better than one.

-Candlelit Showers – alone or with someone else, these could take hours…

-Falling Asleep to the Sound of Someone’s Heartbeat -this is one of the most comforting things in the world.

-Men Who Have the Ability to Get Up Early – because they can get up before me and make me breakfast.

-Thunderstorms – the best is to wake up at dawn on a Saturday morning to the sounds of a thunderstorm outside, and know you have nothing to do today but to stay under the covers.

-Hands – a guy once told me that he’s never noticed a girl’s hands before, but that I had beautiful hands. After that, I started noticing people’s hands. There’s something really sexy about a guy with strong hands and nimble fingers.

-Eyes – when I look into a man’s eyes and it’s like tumbling into a deep cave. You can glimpse an entire universe, moving through him like a powerful river. It’s unbelievably hot when a man opens up so you can see this universe through his eyes.

-Lavender – brings out my soft, feminine side.

-Strangers – entire universes to explore with no obligations. Anything goes…

-Sports – adrenaline + sweat + physical contact + endorphins. You may as well have sex as the perfect afternoon cap.

-Wits – if your mind can hang with mine and you can keep up, then you’ve already mastered the foreplay.

-Kissing – I am totally orally fixated.