Oh God.
I thought I was stronger than this.
I thought I could walk up to a guy in a crowded bar, grab his hand and say, “Let’s do body shots and make out,” then do what needs to be done and let it go at that–just another good night’s conquest–before moving on to normal things like scrubbing the bathroom floors and cutting out coupons from the Sunday paper the next morning. You know, what bona fide studs do on weekends.
But somehow, I have turned into a quivering blob of girl obsessed.
I just went over the photos taken from that infamous family night out and holy goddam! Just found the sexiest photo I’ve ever taken stashed between random innocuous candids. I mean, my friends as my witnesses, I’ve got this dysfunctional love affair with my camera and have taken some pretty crazy sexy freaky cool innappropriate photos…me as Taloofa Jankins with a Loofah stuffed down hot pink butthuggers, me pretending to sodomize Lauren with a beer bottle, me having a hot black man caress my bare stomach with his tongue and hundreds upon hundreds of spanking photos…
But this one…this one eats the whole damn cake, stripper inside and all. If I had the technical capabilities, I’d post this photo but I don’t…but I mean, GODDAM! It makes a religious woman out of me! Worshipping some rock hard granite idol with phallic symbols of gargantuan proportions and praying for blessed rain in private nether regions.
……………….
I need to see this mystery man again. If only to show him our captured moment of debauchery and slap him a high five. Though, I can not guarantee his safety.
A Saturday with the place alone has turned into MAD SCIENTIST NIGHT!
Details aside, I’m about to listen to a tape with Theta frequencies that are supposed to simulate the dream state.
Thought:
Have you ever noticed there’s no future in dreams? Only a present and sometimes a past. When we recount dreams later, we make assumptions like, “we were waiting at the bus stop”…because we were going to get on the bus. But that’s a detail that we add in hindsight.
I think a future already exists once the present circumstances fall in a way that allows it to exist. So in a sense, there do exist alternate “realities” which are these futures that were not the ones that actually deveoped. Because all reality is subjective, therefore, if the conscious believed a future possible, then in theory, it has to exist. For example, You are walking down a straight road. YOu can see the end of the road. You come to a crossroad and decide to turn right and take this other road. Does the first road and its continuation cease to exist when you turned, even though you can no longer see it? No. We can prove empirically that it is still there. So within different dimensional parameters, it’s possible that once a “future” is created, or a path that someone can walk down, even if circumstances do not allow this future to be traveled and the person’s life turns in a different direction, that “future” must still exist.
Tangible things are paradigms for showing us how things beyond our perception work. The most brilliant people in our history had a particular skill in creating, analyzing and understanding analogies.