http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/8311156/Wizards-sign-Arenas-to-six-years,-$111-million
even their team president says it. it’s not important to debate his supposed choking or questioning if he can lead a team past the early play-offs. the $111 million isn’t just for his basketball skills. it’s about his charisma, his star power. they need arenas there to keep them on the map. you really can’t survive as a brand if people can’t identify you.
I was searching through the Kindle titles, and I found this book:
On Being a Shit: Unkind Deeds and Cover-Ups in Everyday Life
I like that.
I’m going to write a book called:
“You’re the Reason We Can’t Have Nice Things!” and Other Ways These Bitches Lie.
have you noticed graduates of different colleges have different vibes?
god, stanford grads are so hot. it’s like they’re the people who are good at everything but aren’t obnoxious about it, making it kind of obnoxious. berkeley grads are walking computers. michigan kids are so unoffending and naive but your friend when in need, usc people are jedi trainees. ucla’s a little spoiled and tricky, like the baby sister who gets everything she wants because she knows she’s fucking adorable. then there’s harvard. no one ever knows how to act around a harvard grad–do you ignore the fact that they’re better human beings than you? or do you joke in a way like, “what? you think you’re better than me?” when really, you’re ashamed that you think they’re better than you. or do you just acknowledge they might be better than you but say fuck it, then try to move on outside of that fact. no one’s ever that comfortable about measuring dicks with a harvard grad. and then all the kids from florida…we get it. you guys totally had more fun than the rest of us. utexas grads are definitely interesting–they’re snipers when it comes to artistic sarcasm and will secretly win you over with their diligence. i’ve noticed more than a few arizona grads slip into moments of zombie sheen. and never let a unlv student think you don’t take them seriously because…c’mon, you live in vegas…they take themselves very seriously. there are a lot of people at san jose state who are foreign. but it’s san jose and that place is a little foreign anyway.
i don’t know if i have a favorite school vibe. i think michigan made me hard in some ways, but left me a little soft in the ways that matter when living in an big city. but when i imagine school environments and the powerful energies that mix in them, my favorite is thinking about my mom as a grad student at texas tech, this flirty and brilliant taiwanese girl landing in the middle of lubbock, texas, and trying to teach undergraduates with her very wobbly grasp of english. in the 70’s.
i wish i could go back in time and film a reality show.
one of the things my father taught me was respect for money. you have to understand the magic in it, the protection of it. i’m still very uncomfortable with asking for it, but i understand that there are certain people who just know how to make it grow.
i think i stumbled upon my future home today.
there’s hope. i’m not willing to commit to believing it’s the right one just yet, but there’s hope.
i’ve had my energy grounded for a couple of days now and the resulting effect has been magnetizing.
it’s actually incredibly pleasant to give into. and anyone who comes too close, i’m careful about being gentle and always maintaining the best intentions.
i’m also able to understand how magic is unique to an individual, and then on another level, it’s unique to their ethnic and cultural background. individually people have specific magic but the group or the different groups to which they belong can really influence the strength of the focus of this magic.
i’ve been reviewing my book that intersects symbology, psychology, mythology and artist’s path, i can see how things lay out and how to direct the logical points of your life story. however, at each step, the room you have to wiggle really depends on the people around you, and what roles they serve your story in the context of their own free will, needs and desires.
i can’t tell if people want to know or not though about the things i see and how to see them. i feel like when i used to be naively open and talked to people as truthfully as possible, people did unfair things, or people ganged up on me. so i’ve really gotten by by not getting too involved with people and having superficial but easy conversations. maybe that’s the leap i’m about to take now. if people don’t want me to tell the truth, then i won’t. but if they do want to know, they have to accept the consequences of seeing a reflection of reality and not take it out on me. the happier people are the ones who find out that the their reflection and their perception are basically the same. but those who get surprises should remember that this is actually a time to figure out what they want and adjust their life so that it fits the projections you have of it.
i have been very interested in chiron lately, as i know very little about it except that it’s a healing planet and they believe it’s a second ruler of virgo, but last week in my postings about sex, i started wondering if chiron didn’t have something to do with scorpio’s ability to use concentrated power for transcendental healing. maybe chiron is actually an expression of sagittarius building upon their recent memories of scorpio knowledge and adding to it sag’s magical ability to aim an arrow at a star and hit it. i just can’t accept that chiron rules virgo. she’s a servant.
but then today i learned about the god chiron, how he was a centaur and was the mentor/drill sargeant/guardian of many heroes. even though centaurs can often be savage creatures because of their animal half, chiron was more evolved and peaceful, combining his primal, intuitive urges with the calm powers of wisdom. he’s gentle out of discipline and choice and dedicated to sharing wisdom. but then hercules, who’s an unevolved crazy muthafucker, got frustrated as his student and wounded the guy enough that he begged the god’s to kill him. and they made him a constellation that rules sagittarius.
but sag is mostly documented as being ruled by jupiter. i think those planets share them rather than appear simultaneously in them. i think jupiter is like a siren who tempts so many impressionable sags away to an easy, happy but superficial life, but the more serious ones who refuse the tempting calls of jupiter to follow wise and mystical chiron, those are the ones who come back from the woods with shamanistic capacities. they are the counterpart to the descendents of athena/isis.
just bought a kindle. hella psyched.
mom called to tell me her heart was moved by kite runner. was that one of the books i recommended to you in the bookstore in taiwan? yes, she says. don’t tell me anything about it, i say. i just ordered it today and i’m going to read it.
i don’t know what made me so sure she would be moved by it. when i was in the bookstore, there was just something about the rightness of the book. like seeing a stranger across a room and instantly knowing that you are going to be connected for a reason.
i also ordered the glass castle and i was told there would be cake. i’m going to order one or two more to balance these experiences out, and then i’m going to wait until i get to europe to open these.
holy shit.
this was on of the articles for today’s msn homepage. just opened it.
david and i basically had a two hour conversation earlier today discussing exactly what this article talks about, down to the points.
it started with a story about a friend of mine who dated a 38 year-old guy working in the industry for 2 years. near the end, she wanted to know where this relationship was going, ie marriage. he was always very noncommittal, citing various reasons, blaming bad experiences in the past, etc., but never really seeming sure that he was in this for the long haul and determined to make this work. after a few months of these discussions, my friend said she had a real soul-searching moment when she asked herself if her boyfriend were to turn around and ask her to marry him after all these discussions that left her feeling frustrated, would she want to marry him? as she put it, she realized, “what little girl grows up dreaming of the day when she gets to badger a man into marrying her?” well put, i thought. very well put.
so she realized, it was over. there was no way she wanted to be with this man, because she wanted a man who knew without a doubt, within every part of his being, that he WANTED to try to make a relationship work. it’s not about doubts of if a relationship will ultimately work because nothing in life is guaranteed, but it’s about not having doubts about whether or not each person is willing to work together and make the strongest, most committed effort possible.
david thought my friend didn’t give her boyfriend enough time to think about it, and my point was that it didn’t matter because they’d been together for 2 years, he obviously wasn’t ready or had other priorities (career) that were in front of her and could potentially always be in front of her, and at the end of the day, there are men out there who know without a doubt that they’re ready to give 100% to a girl who’s worthy (like the guy she’s with now who realized within the first week that she was someone he could see himelf with for the long haul), so why settle for a man who you have to badger to marry you, versus the man who knows without a doubt that he wants to marry you? for a girl with healthy self-esteem, it’s a no brainer.
so this led to a debate and i was trying to explain why men do and don’t commit. my theory was that men who get to the place where they’re ready to have a real relationship and have gotten their career/life in order will usually settle with the next girl who walks into his life who’s a suitable partner. it’s a lot about the girl but it’s also about timing. there are so many stories of girls who wait for a guy and wait for a guy who’s not sure about commitment. unless the guy is young and is still figuring himself out or still has specific career objectives he needs to finish first before he can prioritize the relationship, a lot of times when guys drag their feet, it’s not that they aren’t sure about commitment…they’re unsure about committing with YOU. i see a lot of examples of guys in their 30’s who have gotten their careers work out and are in good places in their lives, and when they suddenly meet the right girl, they make declarations pretty early of their desire to settle down, and they’re persistent and tenacious. it’s actually enough examples for me to not know which is the exception and which is the rule between mature men who are sure of what they want, and those who need extended time to figure it out once they’re in a relationship. perhaps the best poll would be one if you asked elderly couples who have been together for decades and have had a strong, relationship that continually grew and evolved, if the man knew early on that this was a woman he wanted to partner with.
i really think for a man WANT to commit (because there are a lot of poor souls out there who commit even though they don’t want to or because they feel they have to, and that always blows my mind), he has to hit the perfect storm of meeting the right girl at the exact time in which he’s tired of a certain way of life, wanting something deeper, challenging and with more opportunities for him to grow, and in a place where he’s fulfilled other priorities and he is able to make room in his life for another person and make a partnership a top priority. it’s about the right person, but more so, it’s about the right person at the right time. and like the hunters that men are, once they find that person and know they want them, there’s really no stopping them. any other girl who gets caught with this man when he’s not ready, even if she’s a great girl and someone who he would do well with, is kind of shit out of luck. maybe a guy will turn around once his other priorities are settled and he figures out what he wants, but often, if you’re the girl who supported a guy while he went through his struggles, he’s more likely to leave you and marry the next girl who sees him only when he’s achieved his goals and is this “better” version of himself in his mind, not the girl who saw him as an incomplete man struggling with his doubts and fears as he attempted to reach his goals. yeah, it’s fucked up. but us good girls have all been there…the training girlfriend who makes a guy a perfect partner…for someone else. i think if a guy has his life basically in order but he doesn’t want to commit, he’s not unsure of commitment in general per se, he’s unsure about committing with YOU. for whatever reason, he’s not sure you’re the one, and whether it’s chemistry or timing or some combination of both, you really want the guy who’s in the right place and knows himself well enough to really be sure. because a guy who is sure and determined is going to be the guy who will be willing to look at a partnership realistically, will be willing to work through the hard parts, and will be happy to see the relationship evolve to a real place with real emotions and real people.
so we had this long discussion and i threw in examples from my experiences and observerations of married couples and he was pretty stubborn. he thinks sometimes girls don’t give a guy enough time to figure it out. again, yes, if the guy is gunning for a specific goal (ie trying to finish med school) or is young and wants to know who he is first before he makes a serious promise, but otherwise, he’s just not into the girl enough and so already, the relationship is doomed. so i asked him. “i know you’ve played around and you’ve also been in long term relationships that worked well. but why aren’t you with one of thoe girls now?”
he said, “i wasn’t sure if i wanted to commit.”
then i asked him, “was it you you were unsure of, or was it the girls?”
he started laughing. “okay, i get it. if a guy is sure that he wants to be with a specific girl, he’s going to do everything he possibly can to make it work.”
i was really happy. “exactly! and if he’s dragging his feet, chances are, he suspects you’re not the one for him, no matter how great you are, so it’s better to find someone who wants you and is therefore willing and ready to go through the difficult challenges of partnership to really make it work.”
and then i saw this article’s on the homepage and sent it to him and we were both cracking up.
today was definitely a cool day.
it’s been 3 days in a row of really challenging and illuminating days.
i want to thank all the people in my life for being unique and amazing.