11 in the pm
i felt your echo in the still blue wind
a thousand breaths waiting on a ghost train
a thousand eyes for a spotlight
a thousand distances that all knew your name
every one, except the one that knew mine
and yet, all it takes is a moment
the space between two hands keeping time.
to lift your head towards the nearest star
to place your heart upon the highest mountain
to fill your eyes in the pools of the moon and say,
today was another beautiful day before i met you.
while in laguna beach last weekend, my parents were reminiscing about the past. they said that the thing about me as a kid, was that any toy that other kids had, the parents would turn around for a second and the next thing they would know, the toy would be in my hands. i just had a way of getting things from the other kids, and it kind of freaked the other parents out. but the kids wanted to give me these things, i said. it’s not like i took things against people’s will.
we realize that now, my dad said. but it was just the fact that we would turn around and things would always be in your hands.
and you were always the leader, my mom said. any party, by the end of the night, all the boys would be running around the house wild, and you would always be the leader. and the only thing that would stop you were the nose bleeds from getting so worked up. and do you remember linus? he absolutely adored you. his mother was so mad one day because you told him to be your watchdog, so he sat on the ground at your feet, guarding you, and even when his mother told him to get up, he wouldn’t.
i have a way with boys, i said.
we just didn’t understand then, my mom said. we should have just let you be you.
*****
a few days before, i saw one of my dad’s friends whom i haven’t seen in probably 8 years. he can’t believe how much i look like my mom when she was in her 20’s. he said he remembers me being 2 years old, and he and his wife watched me for an afternoon. they took me to a park, and anything that interested me, i had to give it a little kick before i could walk away.
some things never change, i said.