Echo

Michelle Yeoh reminds me of Future Me. :D

on sunday i kept running into these two guys while walking around a nearby town. we started talking and they asked me what i was working on.

i said a dating field book for women based on the art of war.

the more serious one laughed and said he would be interested in reading that.

i told him i didn’t know…”do you have a magical vagina?”

“um, sadly i do not,” he said. “but i’m interested in learning more about it.”

Tonight’s writing was brought to you by:

The Magical V

Respect It or Fuck Off

I can see the light come peering through the sky in my mind
Closing people come in but also lying on the floor
I would hold you in my arms until we both are home
I would hold you in my arms until we both are all alone

– Moby

favorite word today.

diametrically

The reason October has been difficult is because there are no 29 or 22 days. November should be quite the month. I’ll take 11/9, 11/11, 11/18, 11/27, 11/29.

Dessert

(cuz Tomorrow Never Dies was so influential. I wanted the Beamer. I wanted to be Michelle Yeoh)

we are all made of stars

such a good video.

Confession

I have been struggling through Tolle’s New Earth, but it’s driving me crazy that he’s villainizing the word, ego. I understand it’s because people need to understand themselves as greater consciousness before they can reflect on their human existence from this perspective. He wants to make sure they get the first step…I assume that’s why the writing’s circular and repetitive. But on a realistic level, you can’t just get rid of the ego because it’s doorway that keeps us connected to this world and this level of life, at least this collective projection of it. It’s kind of a silly notion, like saying you’re going to not have a nose anymore. The problem is when the ego is hampering instead of expanding, when the mirror’s reflection believes it’s the person, or never knew it was a reflection in the first place. As long as we know which is which, and the greater self lives by the greater rules of consciousness, everything’s balanced. But to say the problem of consciousness is the need to beware the ego is not precise. Just like guns don’t kill people, egos alone aren’t destroying the world. It’s how beings are using their egos, or how dysfunctional egos have taken over beings. It’s in that relationship, and then the relationship with the world around them. The ego’s a powerful energy source. It defines how we project into this world. Balanced, it can be the source of great power. Misguided, it falls into the dynamics of the primitive illusions of this world. This book has been hard for me to read because I believe this is a positive book that gives people an opening, but it’s doing a huge disservice by creating a stigma on the word “ego.”

So here’s the thing.

You see the future event. You know that if you walk there, it’s as good as real. But when you ask yourself, if I can just step into that future snapshot as though through a mirror and be at this event having traversed time, would I give up the experience of all that time just to arrive quickly at a happy landmark, you would be a fool to say yes. Even if it meant putting that snapshot in danger of you not getting there, or not getting there in time.

Every moment can count if you make it.

The engineer from North Carolina was laughing, but not in a mean way. Amused and caught off guard.

“So what you just said is that you used to be afraid of serial killers, but now you hope if you meet one, he’d find you too interesting to kill.”

I guess it does sound funny, but I meant it. It was the only way I could make peace with this fear.

“Yeah, I used to be so concerned with them. Just having the wrong person fixate on you and for no reason, want to hurt you. But now I just think there are so many people in this world, each really only doing things for their own reasons, so I hope that even if I met someone who had a lot of dark thoughts, they would find me intriguing enough to leave me alone because they’d be curious in what I end up doing with my life.”

“I would be interested in knowing what you do with your life.”

“So would I.”

Dear Louc,
The legacy of the 11’s continues. That 11 and 9. How connected they are. How much they need each other. That night, by the candles, it began with you. True, I was wary of you, the way I am wary of everyone. I still am. My definition of stranger feels endless. But what you showed me in the reflection of those dark pools lit by flame, has been the star I have followed.

You know that I could never give you that spot next to me, but instead of being angry at me for it, you still sat by me for a little while. You gave me something without demanding something back. You know that if the situation were reversed, I would have done the same for you and never hoped for anything outside of kindness. And I am still unraveling the distances you’ve helped me travel. Thank you for being my friend.

Last night I dreamed that my cousin gave me his car to drive. It’s a very nice car, a heavy car, and I was very anxious in it because I wanted to be careful. He called me from my car. I apologized and told him my car’s technology sucked but its acceleration was good. He told me the thing to know about his car, was that the number on the screen reflects exactly who the caller is.

Inside my dream, I wondered why he was telling me, assuming that the numbers on Caller ID would always correspond correctly. Then I remembered when I first got my car, it was never correct. It would flash one random name but be someone else.

I woke up before sunrise. This was the first time I’ve woken up so early since that first time the boat docked here. It had been an electrical night. The dream had consumed me.

The message followed me around all day like a shadow.

the numbers will reflect correctly the people.

i do not like standing on fences.

Demetri Martin’s one of my favorite comics, not only for his first-rate Gemini mind, his sparkling Gemini eyes and wit, and his incisive take on perspective and irony, but because he’s got mad ambidextrous artistic and musical skills. He and I could never date. But we’d be great homies. We would make more than the average number of grown men cry. 73% chance we make each other cry.

Check out this clip from his show, Important Things: