Echo

I just looked at the post counts in the archives. April was epic.

I feel like I’m sitting at an airport, saying goodbye to a friend whose flight is soon leaving. April was good to me. It is bittersweet. I’m thankful for everything, so sad to see it leave.

Will you run away
If I try to be true?

tell me why can’t it be true…

Tonight my question to the universe is, why do men sometimes get so stupid around me?

I went to the gym to shoot around today and finally found Steve. He was playing one on one with Curtis.2, and they invited me to play 21. I’m not cleared for full contact yet, and Curtis.2 always guards me crazy intensely and goes for monster blocks, so I kind of didn’t want to, but Steve said they wouldn’t try to block me, and I trust Steve.

So we played and I was really lackadaisical, particularly because Curtis.2 was guarding me hard and I didn’t want any contact or to fall.

I made a few random baskets, mostly low post moves ending in a shovel shot. A couple of jump shots from the left. But I’m not there yet, I can feel. And he was guarding me really hard. So I mostly just worked on dribbling and changing direction without worrying about the finish. At one point, I drove from the right to the basket, and he was trailing when he suddenly yelped and crumpled. Steve stopped playing so I did as well.

“Did you feel that?” Curtis.2 asked. I didn’t feel any contact and looked at Steve who shrugged. “I didn’t even think you touched him.” He said that his hand had gotten close to my elbow and he’d gotten two static shocks that felt like lightning and really hurt like hell. Enough to stop the play.

How weird as that?

My knee started really hurting by the 3rd game of 21, and was clicking in places it didn’t usually click. I was having trouble bending it, so I just stood around and didn’t really play. I mentioned it at the end of the game and Curtis.2 thought it was a loose IT band, an injury he’d had before so he showed me some exercises he’d done in PT for it. I wanted to know the exercises but then afterwards, had trouble extracting myself because he wanted to talk to me and ended up telling me all about his family, his dog, getting drunk once and falling off his deck headfirst while trying to throw up, that sometimes he feels sorry for guys who are trying to hide a small penis, that he’s “hung like an infant squirrel. Just kidding,” and that he loves dick jokes but not really fart jokes because while he has friends who can lift a leg and let out a monstrosity, he’s not much of a farter. How sometimes he tells his dog that they should have sex, but just kidding, they’re both guys.

This guy was trainwrecking epically. I tried to be really polite, listen, and not look disturbed, but it was hard and it wasn’t comfortable. I was watching a man self-destruct. And the whole time I was thinking, MAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING????

I can just imagine his conversation with his dog when he got home.

Where in the Man Handbook does it tell a guy that it’s okay to flirt with a girl by joking that you’re hung like an infant squirrel? I can imagining he’s going to kick himself when he gets home.
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Had a trio of tacos from a truck–carne asada, lengua and cabeza.

the greatest distance is between two halves of the same whole.

but in the outermost reaches where they search, they are constantly running into each other.

If I knew how to bake professionally, I would probably strut down the street more than I do now.
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People in Seattle drink way too much. It’s affecting them.
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All this over a Rubik’s Cube? When a greater enigma is afoot.
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Girls always lie.

I don’t lie!, she roared, even though she’d just lied to him.
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one day, you can stand under my umbrella.

You can meet people who could be good for you, but it may be a matter of too early. It’s like how a mother knows she has to let go of her children and hope they will come back to her on their own. Sometimes you realize that where a person is in life, there’s something he needs to do, to find in the world and of himself before there’s any chance he can be with you. Sometimes it’s something you have to do; you aren’t ready as the person you will soon become. Sometimes, you meet someone very young and you know he needs to fall in love, risk his feelings on the high seas, have his heart broken, know a photo album of women who intrigue him in a thousand different ways and almost make him happy before he can be the man you need him to be. Sometimes you meet someone and think, maybe it will be you who shows up like a ghost out of the blue, when I’m 83, and dreaming of my deathbed.

All this talk but we’re still months away.

to both michael and i, we believe one of the highest truths is that security is freedom.

Sometimes it feels like a circle that doesn’t go anywhere. I had a great day, meeting new people, connecting with new people. Got to hang out with a giant group of happy people who all knew each other and enjoyed each other’s company. I always wish I had a group. I’ve never belonged to a group. By that, I mean “belonged” in the sense where I felt a sense of belonging. Even the groups I’ve been a part of, it was a mutual acceptance, but I’ve never felt a sense of true belonging in anything bigger than me, other than my sense of the universe. And even that is such a private, solitary thing.

Was walking by a bbq and got invited in by a really nice girl named Amy. Played a ball throwing lawn game. No one knew what it was called but rules a little bit like darts. [looked it up. It’s called Blongo Ball]

MGMT Kids just came on. I feel like I’m experiencing something I missed from college life.

Was eating a hot dog and drinking punch when a guy in a guitar came out to serenade a girl to ask her to next month’s formal. It was like being a kid again.
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Just beat a frat boy at HORSE in his driveway. I love college life.
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Is that all it really takes to woo a woman? A man in uniform?
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