Echo

Sometimes all a person wants is someone to come home to.
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J. Are you hiding an endgame from yourself?
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Sizing up big black guys for future bodyguard.
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Who am I?
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Mercury is stationary.
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Parkson told me to go someplace I’d always wanted to go but never been before I have to start this next thing.

Okay.
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Not smiling tonight. Staring down people trying to catch my eye, daring them to look away. Definitely shadow side tonight.
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At a sceney restaurant on Santana Row. These men are like sheep.
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Spending time with my childhood arch rival cousin on the official first day of retrograde. Rewriting our history. Make it a better connection. Why not be positive?
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Yesterday I went to the gym, and this Curt & Unbelievably Nasty Tramp wouldn’t let me buy my usual 6x guest pass, saying I could either pay the full daily fee or she was happy to sign me up as a member. I told her that the guest pass was something I’d worked out with the manager (we’d even had a meeting about it), and first she told me there was no such thing, then when I described it, she said she knew what that pass was but it was only for people on spring break. But I was welcome to sign up as a member. Memberships are like $1200 a year. I was standing there in my gym clothes trying to buy a weekly pass, which she wouldn’t sell me, acting like I was trying to cheat some system. It’s not protocol, she said. We don’t do that. But I’d be happy to sell you a membership. I’ve heard of a hard sell but this was ridiculous. Her attitude was offensive and she wouldn’t back down. I asked to speak to the manager and she said I couldn’t talk to the manager because she was in a meeting. Finally, another salesperson came who recognized me and told her that indeed, I usually buy the 6x guest pass. You’d think this girl would back down or at least apologize, but instead, she had to have the last word, saying that it’s a special privilege because that’s not usually the way things are done.

I was furious about the whole exchange. Mostly because I’m sick of people who work at this gym acting like they are doing members a service by letting them in. I’ve met asshole bouncers at nightclubs with better attitudes.

I was at the gym today waiting for Michael and I asked one of the guys at the front desk, Nick, if I could have the name of their new sales rep.

He handed me her card and asked, “Was there a problem?”

“I wouldn’t mind having a little sit down with her and her supervisor.”

“She was a little rude?”

“To say the least.”

He grins. “You’re not the first.”

Later, as I was leaving, he said, “The more complaints about her the merrier.”

In a dog eat dog world, bitches are fastest at clawing their way to the top, but they’re the first ones who find their way back to the bottom.

There’s one side of me that has everything laid out, knows what I want, knows where I’m going, has its eyes on the horizon and sees the big picture. There’s the other side that’s like a lightning rod. It picks up currents and whatever it gets hit with either reinforces what I already know, or challenges me and forces me to reevaluate myself and my path and adjust where necessary. This has been a system that has worked for me, keeping me balanced and able to evaluate things with an almost psychic intuition. But then there are times when just as an electrical storm hits its peak, my lightning rod has suddenly been replaced with a carrot. Nothing makes me feel more vulnerable.

Now I have to sneak back into my parents’ house. This is no way to live. I need to resolve my bay area living situation asap.
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