seeing truth means dealing with truth.
when what i’ve seen, suspected and felt, everything my antennae picked up is confirmed, it’s a relief. to know that i’m not a paranoid person, to know that i’m not suffering from the equivalent of emotional hallucinations.
on the other hand, it never feels good to have suspicions confirmed. in fact, it usually feels like shit.
leaving the country for 2 weeks is good and bad. good for distance, bad because i want to be alone, put my head under a pillow and not hear a single human voice for a really long time.