Echo

My great aunt told me at lunch all men are unfaithful and women just have to deal with it. You’re too strong for them, she said. Only the weak ones, I said. And they’re not worth my time anyway.
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To balance out the dark energy I have reached out to Parkson positively and bridged the past. I can’t even remember anymore why I got mad at him in the first place. Perhaps it is a sacrifice.
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Just caught one. Looked like a few of the boys I’ve recently met in one. I looked surprised. It made him double take. Caught him looking at me as I tried to look at him. Buzzed head. Bull shoulders. Looked away. But noted. This is a long flight.

Michael can’t find his passport. Gets anxious. I go out to help him. I’d made sure to watch where he’d put it. Check your backpack, I say. He opens a zipper. Could it be here?, he said, and found it. His relief is almost comical. He threw his hands in the air. “My passport was hiding from me!”
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First thing I’m gonna do is get a camera in taipei. My first Asian. Then I’m gonna break him in.
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All’s good in the hood.

I’m in the Evergreen Lounge at San Francisco Airport. My brother and I on the loose. He’s already asked an attendant to make him some soup. Michael has an incredible way of getting what he wants.

I’ve discovered there is something definitely over Fremont. A general unconsciousness. The sky gets a little too close sometimes.

The minute I got safely out, I relaxed. Can look at it with objectivity. The question now is not IF there is something there. It’s a strong force. It’s if I can withstand it and do what I need to do. Or is it to not go back at all? Is this my 2nd chance to apply to the University of Hawaii?

Taiwan is tropical storms. The most powerful moments come in my life while standing under the rain, asking giant questions. There are things I need to know.

I’m using several anchors now. Thank you very much, Cecilia and Sebastian from Mexico. You give me faith in kindness, and it’s what I need.

Do not be surprised at how quickly I disappear.
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If you ask me, the bridge was 2 degrees short, but I still believed it could be bridged and was looking for a way. But at the end of the day it didn’t matter because it was booby-trapped with explosives even before I got there. That might have been worth mentioning if he wasn’t so busy thinking about wanting to do the right thing instead of actually doing it. It’s almost like he needed me to be on the bridge in order to detonate. He used me. Even if he didn’t do it consciously. But he let himself do it. Same thing.

If you admit to a guy that you’ve cried over the relationship and his first thought is he’s flattered because you care, throw down a red flag. He doesn’t even have to say anything–watch his face; it’ll tell you everything. You are basically admitting pain and rather than be concerned for your welfare, his instinct is what it means for him. This is a man who will forever put himself before other people. It’s almost more respectable when a man is selfish and can consciously admit it. It’s exponentially worse when a man goes out of his way to see himself as self-sacrificing to a fault, when really it’s all about him and his internal drama. I never trust people who go too far out of their way acting like they do everything for other people. This means this person either has no healthy boundaries, or he’s lying to cover up that everything he does is really motivated by his own feelings and needs.

I can not believe this is what you decided to do with me.

I don’t, in a million years, believe that you’re naive.

And then I smiled up to the sky, looked at the stars and said, let’s touch the -ian’s!